Wednesday Dec 3, 2008 10:16 am
So here I am sitting by the computer, having an e-mail discussion with someone who may, or may not, be a switch (they say). They have been told by others in the scene that being a switch is just about their confusion... their inability to choose between the d-type and the s-type. They e-mailed me, because when they joined AIS, they saw that we had a dedicated switches group and they were shocked.
Sheba has also been placed in the same position on occasion. We went to a national SM conference several years ago, where one very experienced presenter purported that one can either have a slave or a master's heart and there was no such thing as a switch. Sheba came to me, and said, "you know, I am not really sure about that statement, and neither were the other couple of switches in the room".
As I tend to do, I smiled lovingly at her, and said, "Darling, what is it that you really want? What is your bliss? What makes your pussy wet and yearning?" She grinned and let me know that she loves to be a willing heavy bottom, and totally gets off when someone can draw out her submissiveness. Furthermore, she owns a slave and a pet, and is completely their Alpha/Dominant and gets off on that.
Does this mean a person who wants both energies is confused? No. Does it mean they can't make up their mind? lol, No. Sheba has made up her mind. She wants both. It is simple. That is part of the AIS paradigm, "Seeking your own Bliss". The second part we normally don't put in writing, we simply live it. That is "through accepting yourself and your own desires as OK."
But Switching can be more than that. I know many Dominants who say, "yea - I love getting a great flogging". Does this erode their Dominance? Fuck no! I have seen many people in the scene who are part of a greater poly-kink family who are both submissive to one, and Dominant or Master to another. Does this lessen who they are? Of course not. Sheba is like that. In the past, I have bottomed for others, does this make me less of whatever I am now? Heck no - it adds to my ability to be where-ever I want, through my experiences.
Anyway, for us Switching is simply another expression of WIITWD (What it is that we do) and a very valid one. It is the search for whichever energy we want to discover and experience in that moment. So, don't be confused if you want to be dominated one day, and then dominate another tomorrow - accept it as who you are and what you want! In the end, you and I are the ones who determine who and what we are!
So, those are my thoughts on switching, anyone else have something to add? I am sure there are many different things I would like to say about it, but my coffee cup is now empty, and I have to move on to making some furniture for WW. So, chime in and tell us (and the person I was talking to) about your thoughts on being a Switch! I am sure we would both be glad to hear em!