Barak Article

It's About Mutual Respect...
Tuesday Dec 16, 2008 9:29 am

So, many of you may have noticed that AIS is not a High Protocol group. It is true. As a whole, at our events and the gatherings, we don't do a lot of Sir, Ma'am, Mistress, slave, etc... Honorariums. That is not to say that we don't have quite a few people in the group who are active D/s & M/s lifestylers. In fact, both Sheba and I have M/s and hierarchical TPE relationships.

Anyway, AIS for the most part is a publicly lower protocol group, meaning the lowest common denominator is Mutual Respect. This exemplifies itself in the way we set up the group guidelines and the event rules. The rules we set up are simple - Have Fun. Treat people with respect, regardless of their kink or yours. Create consensual, mutually beneficial interactions, and don't bring any drama or harm to the group. That's the quick and dirty. Where does Mutual Respect come into play? We'll get back to that in a moment, because it is the totality of the way you interact with them, even casually.

Over the past little while, I have been mulling over the concept of "Real". I have heard people say, after watching someone scene, well that's not real. Or conversely when we see some people in a high protocol setting, oh they're just acting. It's not who they really are. Or when we flirt and use honorariums on IM or Chat, we say, that's not real it's online.

Zuchtiger and I had this very discussion about a year ago. We had been debating the "real-ness" of people who lived their Scene Life online. His point was that there is a continuum of the Scene, and for some people, online is the extend of their safety zone, or they prefer it to remain online, as that is their kink. How do we know? What is the criteria for "real". It is my belief that each person determines their own reality, and none of us have a right to criticize that.

We speak about the slogan we used to regularly practice within the scene: "Your Kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK". It was applied to the way we played. I would suggest we broaden it to our entire interaction within "What It Is That We Do" (WIITWD). So in this way, we offer acceptance to those who play, or live their kinky lives different than we do.

Some kinky people are only kinky in the bedroom. Some people only spank one another with bare hands. Some people only get kinky on webcam or in a webgrope. Some people like do be abducted, interrogated and then waterboarded in front of 50 or so friends. Who is real? All of them.

We are all human beings with feelings, egos, insecurities, needs, wants and desires, hopes and dreams, fantasies and our own realities. It is important, and the basis of this group to allow and support consensual adults to seek their own bliss - without fear of judgment - regardless of the frequency, intensity, or venue.

So that's what we are about - Mutual Respect. Allowing a safe and non-judgmental space for others to be who they want to be! And that is what makes this group so great to be a part of!

Peace in your journey - whatever it is!

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