Consensual Mastery and Slavery
Tuesday Feb 24, 2009 12:49 am
In so much as I enjoy the conversations on Fetlife, and other web groups - it is also a wonderful place to come to understanding your own motivations. Someone started a conversation (that has since been removed) that began with "Looking for ideas about becoming a better Master."
I was quite interested, and wrote this:
"I too have been asking this question, both as a Master, and as someone in the scene. From my time talking with other masters, dominants, and being in the scene is this: A true Master is a master of their own life first; someone who understands their own needs, wants and desires". I am not saying that they must be perfect, far from it, but someone who is willing to be the leader in their own life.
Once this is accomplished, then can one hope to lead, care for, and consensually own another. Being a Master is not only about having someone serve you. It is about creating an environment where another deeply desires pleasing you; not of fear for punishment, but of respect, joy, and pleasure of your touch, attention, and affection.
It is a path where both will find growth, and a consensual power exchange that is mutually gratifying. A reminder that a slave can also run the gamut; from a completely subservient and submissive person, to a dominant individual that is in service to you. Personally - I look for the person with the most personal power and will, to offer that power up in service to me. I have little use for a doormat.
Anyway, I hope this has offered a glimpse at what Mastery can be."
While the response I got back was curt, and after reviewing this persons other posts, I realized that I had simply reflected what I though the ideal Master to be. In the scene, everyone has their own idea about what consensual Mastery and Slavery is. For me, it is a dance of love, power and control. It is about the connection that one can feel from across the room. A connection that evolves over time, and that assists in the self-understanding of one who gives away and one who recieves power.
For me, it cannot be forced, but must be nurtured, and developed over time, with open-hearted communication as the primary foundation. In this way can the relationship be crafted in a way that is mutually beneficial. As a Top and a Master, I love my pet and my slave. I no more want to harm them than I would harm myself, or my lovely Sheba. If they have failed me in some way, I know that their failure is mine also. Perhaps I had not been clear enough, or had not trained them in the way to completely understand what is and isn't important in their tasks. Either way, the punishment for them is my disappointment - and that is most often their self- correction; such that they will learn to be more attentive in the future. It is a way for us to learn, to grow and to understand more about each other.
Either way, while it may sound contradictory: Consensual Mastery and Slavery is initially a choice that is not to be taken lightly. It is a beautiful gift of self, that can enlighten and empower those involved.
Just my late night thoughts on the subject.