Barak Article

Paradigm Shifts...
Thursday Oct 22, 2009 8:10 pm

So, today at lunch, I was talking with a lovely close friend about the quality of my relationships, and the discussions we have. I was describing a conversation that I had with Wilson, while up at GD2 a couple weekends ago. Wilson and I were talking about moving and shifting the perception regarding Kink. The issue is this. We (as a community) are still considered social outcasts and deviants. This is one of the reasons we have to continue our fight against societal idea that we are "abnormal".

We were talking about the importance of taking bigger steps like the DSM Project, I pointed out we also must take little steps to change things. What I mean is the little things that can change ideas about WIITWD. For instance, when we talk about being involved in BDSM, many vanillas will say, "OH - I could never get into that rough stuff, I just like to spank my partner a little while we are having sex." or - "I don't get into all that pain, I just like to get out the cuffs, or the rope and get tied up." DUH!

Here is where we make a difference, we are trying to change some basic terminology. People may deny that they are into SM, or Leather, but will say that they can be a little kinky. Hello? We are ALL a little (or a lot) kinky! To encourage the use of "Kinky" or in a more refined setting, "Creative Sexual Expression" will lead to greater acceptance.

There are many people who are not yet willing to take back words that they fear. For instance, many of us use the term "Slut" as a compliment! It is the same with "Dungeon". For people who don't know, that term can conjure up visions of the Inquisition! Not of the intense connection, and flow of sexual/sensual energy! Hence we have been transitioning into the term, "Playspace!", it sounds so much more friendly, welcoming, and translates into "Adult Playground!" Honestly, who wouldn't want to head there? (Or get head there!)

Another one we are working on changing is the term, "Munch." No one who is not in the scene has a clue what that means! Until I was in the scene, I used "Munch" in two connotations. 1 - as a slam "You are a huge Butt Munch!" or 2 - as a synonomous verb to eat - as in, "I'm just gonna grab a quick something to munch on, during the trip!" However, everyone knows what a "Meet N Greet" is. It is a friendly, communal gathering of people you want to meet. Not scary at all.

While we take the larger steps, it is equally, if not more important to take the little steps to bring what it is that we do into the light. The more people who experience the intimacy and real connections made here, the more good we are going to do as a whole. So that is my suggestion: Make Kink more approachable, and less "scary" and it will be not only more palatable for the whole of society, but we and WIITWD will be viewed less as deviants, and more as just people with different desires and tastes in sexual and physical interactions!

Just my opinion. Ya know?


(return to main library page)