Good S-types Should Just "Shut Up and Take It"... NOT!!
Thursday July 1, 2010
Caveat - This is my opinion - for what it is worth. What is right for me, obviously, is not right for everyone. And your kink may not be my kink, but your kink is OK! So, as my Grandfather used to say, "Son - it's good that not everyone likes exactly what I like, or everybody'd be trying to screw your grandma."
Also - for the sake of this article, I am vaguely using the term "submissive" interchangeably with "bottom"; even though they are/should be/can be defined distinctly differently from each other. But that is fodder for another article at a later date. With that said, here are my thoughts...
Good submissives (or bottoms) should just shut up and take it.
WHAT??? Yup, that is exactly what I have heard from several S-types this week. One actually said they were trained that way.
FUCK THAT! I mean, "Hello!" I am a freaking SADIST! If you are quiet? I think I may have killed you, and that's no fun. I don’t know about anyone else but I can assure the bottoms who want to squirm, scream, cry, be bratty, etc.. I love it (And Sheba does too!) I want authentic reactions when I play. I want to hear those moans of pleasure, those blood-curdling screams of agony. What do you think gets me totally hard?
When I play, I want to have fun – hence the reason I refer to What It Is That We Do (WIITWD) as "Play!" I want to get our juices flowing, I want both of us to get hard, wet, horny, spacey, ramped up, etc... This is one of the primary reasons that I love what we do. So when I am wrestling with a bottom, or beating the crap out of some brat; I want to hear them breathing heavy. I want to be a part of their growling, I want to feel their moans – and I can assure you – I want to lick their tears.
I want authenticity. If during play, I find my bottom stoic? I work a little harder to keep them in the moment and encourage their expression. I do my best to coax out their squeals of pain and pleasure. I may twist a part here, or squeeze a good bit there. My whip's bite may become a little more intense or I may get in real close and whisper dark unthinkable things in their ear. I may threaten them with something quite nasty if I don’t hear at least a squeak.
So if a bottom isn’t being expressive, it means they may actually be making an effort to stifle themselves. This does a couple of things:
Firstly and most importantly, it takes effort, focus and energy to keep silent. This takes energy away from the scene we are forming together. Come on! If you are holding back, you are stealing from what we are trying to create together. That doesn’t do good for either of us, and cheapens the interaction. After all, don’t you want the most out of your play? I certainly do.
Secondly...screaming and noise expression allows you to let out that "inner beast". It allows an expression of pent emotion, which can lead to a wonderful release! Let your contrived self go, and just be raw. Expose your inner most self to me (or your top) and I can assure you, that part of you that you never show to anyone will be cherished (and ravished!) It will bring your end satisfaction to levels you have never dreamed!
Next? Ok, so I am going to get a little "woo-woo" here. So, if you aren’t a little Woo? Skip to the next paragraph. Back to the Woo - If you know anything about Chakras, you will know that if you stop the flow up and down the Chakra line somewhere; it causes eventual pain (and not in a good way) Meaning, it shunts the energy back down from the Throat Chakra, and doesn’t allow a circular energy flow from the Top to the bottom. This gets the energy stuck somewhere in their body! Eventually, this can cause all sorts of energy problems.
Not Woo anymore Either way? It makes a bottom so much harder to read if they aren’t making any noise. As a Top, noises and other expressions give me some indication of the physical and emotional state of my bottom. I want that! I want to know exactly where my bottom is, so I can take them (and me) along for a great ride. I want to take them to the very edges of their limits, and pull them back, just slightly from the brink. Then keep them hovering right there – so when we fall together, we will have both had a heck of a scene.
If in the end, they haven’t made a sound? I feel as though I haven’t squeezed all the “juice” from the scene. As a Top, I can follow the flow of the energy through the bottom to increase it during the interaction. If I can’t? I feel as though I haven’t done a very good job as a Top. And I want to utilize all the tools at hand, including my sense of my bottom’s condition, to create a better and better scene.
So for all you bottoms, submissives, s-types, etc... who like to scream and want to let their inner beasts out? Come on down! There are plenty of Tops, D-types and the like who love your squeals, moans, cries, and pretty noises! Be who you are, and bring more of the real you to the scene. It will be worth it!