And Now... DROP!!
Monday Feb 04, 2013
Just a quick note about Top and Sub Drop – It's now the day after. Yup. Monday – Garfield's Nemesis. While it may not be today or tomorrow… but the energy of Wicked is going to wear off. It's true. We can't ride that high forever; and nor should we. Our bodies can't sustain that level of energy for too long.
When it happens? Stuff is going to come up. It just does. We are filled with that huge ball of fun, sexy stuff, and as it fades - what happens to us? The higher the energy of the interaction the lower/deeper the drop-whether it be a party, private D/s dinner, or just an SM session; when the energy has dissipated, there is a gaping hole. As this vacuum is noticed, or not, the person can develop feelings that are incongruous with the stimuli. What I mean is that on the day after a huge energy party, like Winter Wickedness, COPE, or even a smaller event, something can happen.
Even something small, like a remark, or meaningless gesture, can be blown way out of proportion. There can be feelings of ambivalence, considerations like, "am I ok?" or even feelings of guilt, "gee, I am such a slut.". Any number of doubts about what it is that we do, or enjoy doing can appear. Even I get "drop". Yes, even Domly Doms such as myself get Drop.
Now don't tell anyone, but here is what happens to me and how I handle it. Because sure as the sun will rise, I get Top Drop. For me, Top Drop is this huge black wave of doubt. What happens is I begin to think about the scenes, how I could have played better, what I could have done wrong, will they want to play with me again, are they going to call, do I need therapy, did my partner come 2 times or was it 3, will my vanilla friends think I am insane, do I need to be on meds, is my father going to come to Columbus and slap me with a bible, are my grandparents are spinning in their graves, blah, blah, fucking blah!
I get all these bullshit doubts, and The Itty Bitty Shitty Committee (IBSC) in my head begins marching to the beat of an epileptic drummer! Mind you, I have been in the scene long enough to know that this is Drop. So, I tell the IBSC to shut the fuck up, it's only Top Drop. It normally does for a while, and then comes back for multiple encores later. For the most part, I have to tell it to shut up between 8-15 times the next day.
Aside from the self-conditioning of "I know it's drop, so shut up", which does work - I also plan for other things that assist in reversing drop. One thing is pre-planning - On the night of the party, or event, I tell those who I am playing with to contact me the next day or day after. I do this to "download and go-over" our scene. As we do this, it reconnects our energy, and also solidifies our "ok-ness" with what we did together.
Talking it out gives us both a chance to revitalize our feelings, and give each other feedback about the scene. It eases the possible self-doubt on both parties. Another thing I do, is plan more energy. I look at the group, I make posts to review the party, and to rekindle the wonderful energy I had. I call friends in the scene to just hash things out and see how they are. I plan out scenes for later, or play privately, so I can have more power exchange.
Finally, I do have the benefit of Brat Sheba to share with, and restore some equilibrium. When she notices I am in the grips of the Top Drop, Sheba normally slaps me or punches me, and says, "get over it, fucker!" and walks into another room. It is a cold splash of reality for me. So if you are feeling waves of sadness, doubt, loss of motivation, excessive guilt or negative feelings, know that this is totally normal. Just a day or three, and it will be over (and if you want to borrow Sheba, just let her know - she will be glad to slap you too).
Conversely, if you are experiencing bottom or Top High - the reverse of this, know that will drop off too - and be ready for it.
Hopefully this has at least made you laugh, and if not, at least given you some insight into what Top or sub drop can look like. Either way, in my opinion the Drop is well worth the Energy High. And if you want some help with it? Join us for the AIS Monthly Meet N Greet, this friday night at the 8ball.
Twistedly,
Barak & Sheba
adapted and reprinted from a Drop article we wrote a while ago...