Barak is My Submissive...
Sunday Jan 04, 2015
Now that I have your attention. Some of you have got it backwards! Or at least a bit confused! Let's set the record straight shall we? I am not Barak's slave, submissive, pet, little girl…fill in the blank. We are in an egalitarian relationship. What does that mean? That it's at least 50/50 …and if you ask him, Barak would probably say it's more like a 60/40 or even 70/30 relationship where I am the dominant one! I have to admit, I can be pretty aggressive when it comes to getting what I want… I didn't get the name Brat or the nickname Princess for nothing!
Now don't get me wrong…power exchange is hot! It's just not possible for us. We actually tried this type of dynamic when we first entered the scene. Looking around the scene, the primary configuration was a dominant male/submissive female combination – at least in our Midwestern town. With those relationships as our models, we decided to give it a whirl. It lasted all of 12 hours. Barak did this snapping his fingers and pointing to the floor as his feet thing…and my reaction was enough to tell us we were doing something wrong. I nearly went through the roof! Hands on hips, head bobbing, eyebrow cocked…”who the hell do you think you are”, anyway…you get the picture.
As I came to know more of what I wanted, I chose to label myself a switch. Why? Because I prefer to be more fluid in the many roles I enjoy. Most often, I refuse to stay put in any of them. When it's just play, I'm either a top or bottom. In the moment, it just depends my desires and the energy between us. I have some wonderful play partners who bring out the masochist in me and others who tap into my inner sadist. There are those who I master and those who I serve… although the latter is very rare, like the mythical unicorn.
I will admit it's not easy having a submissive inside dying to come out and play – especially when the current relationship is not build for power dynamics. So what's a girl to do? With my range of play styles and preferences, I wasn't sure if there was going to be one person to fit the bill. That's where our polyamorous relationship came to the rescue! I had to look for fulfillment of that desire elsewhere.
Searching high and low, I found one master whose manner of dominance was quite serious all the time - but this didn't fit well with my inner brat. I found another one who played well with the brat but was more of a non-sexual daddy – and I wanted sex to be a big component of my power exchange. I found one who said “I'm a dominant”, but I rolled right over him - so much for taming me…LOL. Plus there are always the online dominants who send fetmail from Timbuktu claiming to be the one who will train me and “bring me to heel” (yes one actually wrote that).
So far, my experience with online guys who want to dominant me via the chat feature is that they are mostly either 19, married and cheating, in jail, or worse – in a nursing home! And then there's my least favorite, the D-Types who saw me as a notch on their bedposts…there were a few of these. But I learned quickly how to spot the collectors and those who think they will gain status by being the D-Type who tamed “Brat_Sheba”. Oh, I almost forgot the bait and switch ones. The D-types who say they are dominant but who actually aren't at all – and end up wanting me to take them in hand and make them my sissy maid.
Then when I was least expecting it, The Pussy Whisperer stepped into my life. From the moment we collided I knew that this quiet, unassuming, perfectly “regular joe” had something in his eyes that just made me want say “yes, Sir.” I still consider him the only Dominant I've ever had a full power exchange relationship with. I think I will always have hot flashbacks to some of the more memorable experiences from our 4 year relationship. It was amazing. If you ever find this level of power dynamic with another… I recommend you saddle that unicorn and ride it for all it's worth!
But let's get back to the reason I wrote this…as husband and wife and co-owners of AIS, Barak and I are an equal team. We are individuals and other than the times he serves me, we are mostly equal in power. When you read one of our articles, hear us on the Kinky? Curious? Podcast, watch us present, or find us out there in some other way – and you decide to friend me…(which I highly recommend…'cause I'm fabulous)…ask me for permission, don't ask him. Also, use capitalization when you use my name, like any other proper noun.
Lastly, regardless of what kind of relationship you might want with me – treat me with respect as the powerful, strong woman that I am. Remember first and foremost we are human beings having an experience together…then our roles or whatever labels we choose for ourselves. And hey – if you do “fuck up” and I need to bring it to your attention you can always make up for it with SHOES!!!
©2015 Barak & Brat Sheba