a Barak & Sheba Article

Searching For Safety
Friday Feb 19, 2010

Twisted Tryst is the only outdoor event I enjoy attending…being with the Tribe even if only for a few days each year is always amazing. So amazing in fact that Barak and I take our AIS Staff every year – we call it a “team building event”…shhhh…don’t tell Uncle Sam we are actually having a kinky good time!!!

This time I tried new things – yes, I have cherries left to pop! I experienced all sorts of kinky fun by being brave and saying “yes” when I was asked to participate in a number of scenes.

Oh don't get me wrong, it wasn't all play – there was still a lot of “me time” to color and to chat with tribe-members. And it's those moments that resonate with me, those times when I can get to know someone on a more intimate level by just sitting and listening to each other. By sharing our stories and our, “gosh, I wish I could try that's”.

Normally by the end of camp I'm ready to be home…or at least out of the nature – picture me dreaming of malls. This time was different for me – this time I didn't want it end – ever! We all know Barak can be emotional – he's so darn cute when he lets us see his heart…but I'm just not a crier…at least I wasn't.

You know there are moments of time that stand still – that you never forget where you were when you heard about or saw something for the first time. That's how I feel about the announcement about the Orlando Tragedy at closing ceremonies on Sunday. It will forever remain with me – a moment of absolute horror. Just like the classroom I was sitting in when I heard about the Space Shuttle, or the moment I heard about the airplane hitting the first tower on the car radio as I was rushing into work because I woke up late.

I made it through the ceremony without crashing – but then when the wristbands were torn off and the hugging started…well, I couldn't contain it anymore; I cried, and it was that all in, ugly face, chin quivering, nose running, sobbing kinda cry. I had the overwhelming need to hold as many of the AIS team and campground staff and the Tryst staff and the other campers as I could. I needed to know that in some way we were all safe. I couldn't leave there without telling my tribe, my entire tribe that I loved them and that they meant the world to me. So now I am telling the rest of my tribe – ALL OF YOU…I love you…it means the world to me to know who my people are and where I belong.

In the face of anger, hatred, and the unkindness of the unaccepting world I am here with you, my chosen family, and I will treasure our moments in the sacred and safe places like camp and all the other events where we can be together and be our authentic selves.

(Barak &) Sheba

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