There is no doubt that 50 Shades of Grey transformed how people view kinky sex. Whether you love or hate the
story, it can't be denied that the books changed forever the way the media and mainstream talk about kink. It brought
kink out of the shadows, so now people are talking about kink and doing kink more than ever.
AIS has lots of resources for people who are kinky and/or non-monogamous, whether you're just starting out or you're an old hand at this "50 Shades" phenomomen.
If you are new to the scene and want to find out how to do kink in a safe, sane and consensual way, then we recommend our AIS New-2-Kink meetings.
Here it comes. We can see it in the distance. We got our first good glimpse yesterday. And… whether or not you like it, it's coming. Don't think Tsunami is an apt term? You might want to look again. Check out the New 50 Shades YouTube Trailer.
Sure, there is a red flag or two. For US! Because we are used to knowing, debating, discovering, elaborating, experiencing all about consent. We have had – and continue to have - those conversations. In fact, we discuss that daily. We educated ourselves on the nuances of power exchange dynamics; of sensation exchange, of pain and pleasure.
It's what we do.
So. As the Tsunami rolls inexorably closer and closer; and the titillation grows for the uninitiated… Sweeping up those who may not have been caught up in the books… Do the long time kinky nay-sayers throw stones at the plot? Should we criticize the characters? Stand up and scream at how wrong the movie got it?
OR… Should we get in front and on top of that wave? Should we whip out our surfboards of safety, knowledge, consent, cooperation, communication… and fucking ride that bitch? Hells to the yeah, baby!
But what can we do to “fight” that doe eyed college uninitiate - Ana? How can we possibly combat the sultry, seductive model from Calvin Klein, Christian Dior, and Armani – who plays Mr Grey? In light of that unbelievable yet immeasurably salacious duo, how can we compare? Not the fantasy that is portrayed up on the screen. Not the possibility of a Millionaire seduction into some far-fetched obsessive dream. What can us “normal” kinky folk hope to offer?
Yes. Movies have their place. It is one of the main goals of any movie - to offer a break from the mundane. To transport the mind and imagination to another place, another time, another reality. And… this movie will do that. In Spades. Watching this movie will awaken desires, feelings, inclinations, and proclivities! Fantasies that vanilla people never imagined, buried deep in their subconscious. It will provide wank and/or fuck fodder for weeks, maybe months…
What do we do? How do we share? How do we redirect? We provide the facts. Talk about the amazing connection that is not just a fantasy. How the disclosure of your desires to a partner can bring about the vulnerability, the sensuality and the exchange of power and sensation. How experimentation with someone you love and trust can open doors, well beyond the feelings of watching a movie.
How do people get in the scene now? They read a book, see a movie, hear about some sexy thing a friend did, try tying up their partner, etc… There was some form of gateway. Something that lead them to seek out the more. I know that Sheba and I had that experience years ago. It was just someone who played a Dominatrix role in a sacred sexuality workshop. That was our gateway… the thing that opened our desire for the more.
And… the idea made us hot! We experimented with that for a while, before reaching out and finding a gateway into the community. We had no idea what we were doing. But once in the community, we watched, we listened, we learned. We read articles, emulated others, and discovered the “safe, sane, and consensual” way of kink.
You know why? Because the experienced kinksters were there, willing to be the guides. Willing to share the basic guidelines of what it is we do – in a good way. They shared about consent, about cooperation, about communication. And you know? Because we had positive role models, guides and experienced kinksters show us the “ropes?” We are still here now, trying to do the same for others.
It's the same with 50 Shades. It's a gateway. Lol… perhaps in this case more like an international floodgate… but still a gateway. Yes. The portrayal is not the way we would have liked it. But, guess what? It's here. Kinky people on the inside are doing the best they can. The NCSF is trying to influence the movie. But it's a movie, and will be sensationalistic. You know why? It's a work of fiction.
That's our hook. One simple sentence. ”50 Shades of Grey is a work of FICTION.” Say it with me. Sheba and I have used that one many times. When asked about the books, we simply reply – “It’s a work of fiction. If you would like to learn more about reality? We will happily share that with you.” Insert mysterious grin here.
So many people want, desperately, to take the Red Pill to see how deep the rabbit hole really goes. If all of them are dismissed as “just 50 Shades fans?” We may lose valuable assets to the community. This is an opportunity to educate, elucidate, and share the amazing connection, that can be experienced through kink. It's a chance to be patient, to bring the uninitiated along a path that we have been traveling.
Of course there will be people who never “get it.” There will be those who don't listen, who don't want to follow the rules. But… there have always been those people. And… they will adopt the basic community standards or will end up outside looking in. Perhaps from craig's list… or somewhere else. But that shouldn't deter us from trying.
It is one of the tenets of Adventures In Sexuality to promote honesty, openness, happiness, goodwill, friendship and acceptance within Ohio, and Nationally. So we intend to continue reaching out and provide a safe place for people to land when they go searching for the more – as the 50 Shades Tsunami gathers force, hits our shores and finally ebbs back out…
Anyway, AIS has even bigger plans for the movie release and are working on a whole bunch of ideas. Part of those include working hard to educate the public, or "ride the wave" and teach the interested the reality of what it is that we do. Furthermore, we continue to encourage more experienced Kinky folk - and let them know to keep spreading the word...
Regardless, the 50 Shades Tsunami will continue to rise and gather strength. In the end… it's coming, whether kinky folks choose stand and argue… or pick up a board and ride! You know where we'll be…
© Barak & Brat Sheba
the AIS C.O.P.E. Convention
July 26 & 27, 2019